Self-sabotage is any behavior that is keeping you from reaching a goal.
You have a vision, a goal that would create great joy and abundance. You can see it, feel it, almost reach out and touch it. It’s something you really, really desire. Yet you can’t seem to get there.
Maybe you want to create greater intimacy in your romantic relationship, or manifest that special someone.
Maybe you want to scale your business from six to seven figures so you can purchase your ideal luxury home.
Maybe you want to lose 25 pounds so you feel and look like a rockstar which gives you greater confidence, well, everywhere.
Maybe you are really struggling with your emotions and chronic anxiety, and just want some inner peace.
But instead of taking action TOWARD what you want…
- Do you find yourself procrastinating and distracting yourself with menial tasks?
- Does it seem like you gain momentum, actually see some results, but then shortly thereafter you completely derail?
- Are you super busy, but not really productive?
- Do you take care of others while completely ignoring yourself?
- Do you find yourself purposefully getting rid of money, or ending relationships when they are just getting “good”?
- Do you find yourself resenting doing what you are doing, whether it’s for yourself or other people?
These are all signs that you have self-sabotage going on.
Here’s what happens…
When you decide to make ANY kind of life change, your personal defense system (aka, your nervous system) runs this change through its database of “safe” action and “scary” action.
What you already know and are doing right NOW is actually considered safe. Yes, you may be unhappy. Yes, you may be in a toxic and very unhealthy situation. But you KNOW what it’s like here, it’s familiar, you know what to expect. Therefore, it’s safe to stay in the status quo.
Your fight or flight system isn’t a “logical” thinker. It doesn’t care about good health, more money, self-worth, or intimate love. It just cares about protecting you from perceived, even worse dangers “out there”. It checks in with your belief system to make note of “yup, we are in agreement here”, or “nope, run for the hills”.
For example, women who have experienced sexual violence as a child or teen often struggle with health and weight issues. There is a subconscious connection between how one looks and a perceived ability to keep self safer. Your safety system decides that being overweight is unattractive, therefore it is of great benefit to stay overweight.
But this is just a false sense of safety. People who violently victimize others are seeking control and power; it has nothing to do with appearances.
Fast forward 20 years, you have had counseling, are in a happy, loving, healthy relationship with someone, yet you STILL struggle with weight. The subconscious message of “looking good is dangerous” is still very much alive and kicking and leads you down the road to self-sabotage when you attempt to lose weight.
(Note: Weight issues can also be a result of other emotional disempowered experiences…I am just using this particular one to make a point.)
While this is a more serious example, please note that self-sabotage happens to EVERYONE. It’s not discriminatory to only those who have experienced an extremely difficult circumstance. Someone who enjoyed their childhood, has an MBA, a prestigious job, and a loving partner and maybe kids, can totally sabotage their health goals for a whole DIFFERENT reason.
Being AWARE of your self-sabotaging behaviors is the first step in re-training your nervous system. You really have to pay attention, as self-sabotage can be very sneaky.
Some instances are quite obvious. Others are INVISIBLE to your consciousness and before you know it, you are stuck in a behavior that you know is counterproductive. Some behaviors even originated from a PAST-LIFE, of which you KNOW you keep doing it, but there is a deep-down compulsion to continue despite how you feel about it.
The Hurtig Approach™ is so efficient because I take into consideration self-sabotage at the mind, body, AND soul level. Most approaches only work with self-sabotage at the conscious level, which is like building a car with only a third of its parts and expecting it to run well. It might start, but without wheels and a steering contraption, you won’t go far.
Ready to ditch your self-sabotage so you can finally reach your goals?
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