Let’s envision a couple of scenarios…
- You have a goal. Maybe it’s weight loss, to take your business from the six-figure mark into seven-figures, or to repair your marriage.
You decide that you really, really want whatever it is, but it seems like any action you take, really becomes IN-action.
You procrastinate calling around to find a marriage counselor.
You justify starting your diet NEXT week because you convince yourself you have less stuff going on. (Just the fact that you call it a “diet” is self-sabotage in itself.)
You know that bidding on that big contract will take your business to the next level, but it seems like you are just too busy with your other work responsibilities to tackle it.
You feel like shit on the inside. You know this. Other people know this.
Whether it’s from childhood issues, a nasty divorce, or you are grieving a particular loss, all you know is you would love to run and hide from your feelings. So instead of dealing with it, that’s exactly what you do, avoid.
You bury yourself in your work, do some retail therapy, or go on a date with Mr. Merlot while you binge watch TV. You subconsciously distract yourself with anything and everything you can think of.
Regardless of which ever scenario sounds more like you, there is a whole lot of avoidance, or self-sabotage going on.
Self-sabotage is a very primitive way of trying to protect yourself from unknown dangers. Regardless if you are happy or not, or in a healthy position or not, where you are right now, the status quo, is perceived as “safe”. You know exactly what to expect.
So, if you create goals that are going to take you outside of your comfort zone, even if it is for the better, your nervous system conjures up all kinds of ways to stop you.
Procrastination. Distraction. Drama. Addictive behaviors. Risky behaviors. Isolating. Depression. Anxiety. Physical illness.
These are all SYMPTOMS of self-sabotage.
The interesting thing about self-sabotage is it can be very sneaky. You might have good intentions of taking the needed actions, but before you’re even consciously aware of it, you are engaged in other activities that are steering you in the opposite direction of your goal.
The majority of our self-sabotaging behaviors occur at the subconscious level, especially when it comes to dealing with uncomfortable feelings and situations. Many times people aren’t even aware that they are self-sabotaging.
But unless you tackle the monster straight on, you will continue to spin in unhelpful, self-destructive behaviors.
I am guessing you have a lot at stake. Can you really afford to keep doing what you are doing?
The good news is, self-sabotage is only a symptom. Once you address the REAL issue and the fear, then you are in an empowered position to move forward.
My main goal with The Hurtig Approach™ is helping my clients dig up, understand, and eliminate the ROOT cause of both conscious and unconscious self-sabotage.